When all you see is triggers around…
It’s funny I could vent to my friends and family but not many would listen or even care. Today I feel like I lost myself again, not because something happened to me but because of what is going on around me. I may not be involved in emergency services anymore but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t impact my life. Today like any other day I was browsing through Facebook when I saw someone mention another police shooting. I literally stopped and went straight to a news app for more information. (I knew this wasn’t a good idea but I couldn’t help but look) When I came upon the story, tears came to my eyes and I hadn’t even read it yet the photo was enough.
There is always so much going on in the world lately that you can’t help but be bombarded with triggers. I have learned to deal with my triggers…or at least I thought I did until today. But what was different today in my case I didn’t do my usual which for me is crying I got angry. Not that angry is much better but I felt different this time. The questions were flowing through me, who, what, why, you know the whole 5 important questions you need to get. Well, they came but there wasn’t any answers. Do you know why?…because there wasn’t any sane reason for this! So I don’t care who they were or what they were thinking.
I love and hate social media. Not that long ago you could avoid things easier but now it’s everywhere. I can’t walk into the dentist’s office anymore without a tv playing with news on it. The problem with this is you think you are dealing with things just fine but at least in my case it was slowly chipping away at my shield or whatever it is that keeps me sane most days. The days of ignoring the news are over unless you are living off the grid, which I won’t lie has some appeal some days.
So when the triggers start coming, make sure you deal with them before they snowball into a massive ball of crap rolled into one. Excuse the language but there really isn’t another word for everything going on in my head.
What do you do on to deal with your triggers? PTSD is hard and unfortunately, can make guest appearances whether you like it or not. It’s about recognizing it and dealing with it. My thoughts and prayers with everyone involved. All lives matter!
Thanks for listening.